Two Things You Can Do to Increase Your Happiness

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

This is one of those great quotes that reminds us to do what our moms always told us to do, "count our blessings." It is human nature to quickly become unsatisfied with what we have and to always want more. If that means going out and bettering ourselves, then fine...but often it seems to just make us unsettled. Sometimes you'll hear someone say, "I'll be happy when (fill in the blank), I get married, I have kids, I get a new job, finish school, my kids are grown, I lose weight, I make more money -- and on and on.


But as the Daughtry song says, "what about now"? What do you really appreciate in your life? What makes you happy? Do you savor those times? Maybe it's just spending time with your family or that someone special, could be getting together with great friends, going somewhere new (across town or across the world), taking on a new challenge at work, participating in a club, your church, having a hobby, playing a sport, playing an instrument, going on a hike, climbing a mountain...or just reading a great book...where ever and what ever those happy times mean for you. So, that's #1--doing more of those things you love and appreciating all that you have. What about #2?

Well, now that we've counted our blessings, let's remember NOT to count those "imperfections" (otherwise known as annoyances or offenses). Did you have to wait in line a a grocery store, get caught behind a slow driver on the freeway, have to deal with a rude co-worker? Every day, there are many opportunities for things and people to steal our joy.  The more we can blow these things off, the happier we can stay. That takes practice and patience, which brings me to another one of those mom classics: "patience is a virtue".

Of course, no one is happy all the time--that might be a little weird, but if we keep these things in mind, we can increase our happiness. Who doesn't want that? And to quote another great song...don't worry...be happy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9K4BKkLaCI

Whose Road Is it Anyway?

"People take different roads to fulfillment.  Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost". I'm not sure who said that, but I have always loved that quote. I guess it could also be stated like this, "whatever makes you happy."  Of course being happy, while important, isn't life's only goal. However, it's a big one, so I'm going to park there for a minute.

Why does one thing make one person happy, while the next...well, not so much? Did you ever wonder why God made us all so different?  We look different, act different, have different personalities, like different music and on on and on--I know, thank you Mrs. Obvious! But why are we so different?  How much are we born with and how much is what happens to us in life, how we were taught, etc? I've had enough college psychology and sociology classes to guess, but I'll leave that to the "experts".  My point is much simpler than that.  I think that so much tension --whether within families, communities, workplaces...or even countries-- can be boiled down to our inability to understand and appreciate each others differences. Yes, I know...again, I have a flair for stating the obvious! Maybe, though, it's something we can work on a little...even if only with one person at a time. Next time you're ready to blow your top, roll your eyes, make a rude remark (or whatever) about something someone did or said that you didn't like, instead take just a moment to think about where they might be coming from.  Now, there's a chance that they are fully deserving of your reaction...but maybe not.  If not, there will be a little less angst and a little less stress in your life and theirs...and a little less conflict in the world. It's simplistic, I know...but that's the road I like to travel down---you know, it's how I roll.


 

Welcome to Positive Agenda with Sandy Kovach. My goal is to encourage and motivate you to think positive and help others do the same. This is a blog I wrote a while back on another site...I thought it would be a good start for this new series.

I read an article on the CBS News website not long ago called “Teach Your Children To Be Optimists”. It reminded me of the first time I uttered the words, “you have to think positive” to my son. It was when he was first learning to ride a “big boy bike”—you know, no training wheels. His father had put in lots of time with him, but he was still having trouble. The problem was clearly in his mind because he had the skill and the knowledge. I told him two things—think positive and pray. Pray not that God will make you ride, but that he will give you the confidence to do it. After a few minutes of positive thinking and perhaps a little divine intervention, he did it. Now, positive thinking is something we talk about often. In fact, if I’m being negative, I am called on it by my son. Sometimes it’s when I actually seem to be enjoying wallowing in a little self pity and negative thinking (do you ever do that?) and he’s there to remind me to snap out of it.

But what about this optimism and positive thinking as it relates to our kids. It can have a profound effect according to the article. Researcher Karen Relvich of the University of Pennsylvania is quoted as saying optimistic children have fewer symptoms of depression, less anxiety and are better at problem solving. She also says it’s a “skill” that can be learned.

I guess, though, the best way to teach optimism is probably by example. We need to show our kids that we can be optimistic even if things don’t seem to be going our way. I think we can be honest when we are disappointed about something, but remind them that things will turn out okay. Maybe we can tell them that we’ve learned from any mistakes we may have made, etc. We can be honest and be real. I think our kids will get more from that than if we pretend that we are perfect. Remember, by teaching our kids to be positive we are helping them gain skills that will last a lifetime. And as for us grown folks-- by working on it ourselves, we also benefit greatly.

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